Zhana Balaam, MSW, LCSWA, CSW

One of the most common questions in sex therapy is: “Is this normal?” Couples often feel uncertain or even ashamed about differences in desire, frequency of sex, or changes in intimacy over time. One major myth is that healthy couples naturally want sex at the same frequency. In reality, desire differences are extremely common. Stress, mental load, hormones, emotional safety, and relationship dynamics all impact sexual desire—and rarely in perfectly matched ways. Another myth is that desire...

If it feels like you and your partner keep having the same argument over and over again, you’re not alone. Many couples describe it like being stuck on a loop: the topic might change, but the outcome always feels familiar—disconnection, frustration, and distance. In reality, most recurring arguments aren’t about what they appear to be about. On the surface, it might look like conflict about chores, parenting, money, or communication styles. But underneath, these arguments are often about...

Many couples don’t come into therapy because they’re constantly fighting. Instead, they come in because something quieter has changed: the relationship feels flat, distant, or more like a shared life logistics system than a romantic connection. This “roommate phase” can happen slowly over time. Between work, stress, parenting, and exhaustion, emotional connection often gets pushed to the background. Conversations become transactional. Affection decreases. And even when you’re physically...